Seeing stripes.
The Rudi Gernreich Book, cover featuring Peggy Moffitt, photographed by her husband William Claxton, 1991.
As I’ve gotten older, it has become so clear to me how I am a quintessential Gemini: ever changing, ever evolving, and imagination always flitting from one daydream to the next. They are characteristics that I have learned to really love and appreciate and that have allowed me to explore so many different sides of myself. But it wasn’t always that way. For much of my life, I fought against those natural tendencies, pushing myself to find a box that I could fit into instead of embracing my uniqueness. I have since learned (many thanks to RuPaul and the queens of drag race) that your differences, your quirks, your unique point of view is what the world wants and needs from you. It’s why you’re here.
How “Beehive” became “Pinstripe”
When I came up with the concept of Beehive Creative House (my first entrepreneurial endeavor), the visuals in my mind felt so crisp and modern and (for lack of a better term) marketable. I wanted to make sure that if I was going to build something from scratch that it would appeal to the masses so that it would be successful. I pushed myself to come up with a name that had a deep and symbolic meaning so there was a story for me to tell. I incorporated the philanthropic component of donating proceeds to local organizations that supported bees (which if you knew me as a child is hilarious since I was so deathly afraid of them). Now it’s not to say that those things don’t have meaning and weren’t important. They were. But what they didn’t have was a personal connection for me. They represented trying to be accepted by everyone around me.
I was very hard on myself for the way I handled Beehive. I was very critical of myself for doing a lot of “talking” and not the actual “doing”. I was embarrassed. I was ashamed. I had manifested my own perceived failure and convinced myself I wasn’t cut out for entrepreneurship. “I must not be passionate about this like I thought I was or else I would’ve made it work” I thought to myself time and time again. I blamed a lot of it on being afraid of putting myself out there, which was true. My inner saboteur can be pretty ruthless.
Timing truly is everything - I finally believe that. For many years after I officially started Beehive, my life was complicated for a lot of different reasons. There was a lot of noise in my head that made even the simplest of decisions feel paralyzing, let alone trying to start a business. But as luck and life would have it, the right time did reveal itself, only after a very focused and intentional effort to improve my mental and emotional health. The noise finally quieted; the chronic worry started to fade; the constant vibration in my nervous system stopped; and in the midst of a personal transformation I never saw coming, I began seeing stripes and the Pinstripe Style Club emerged.
What Pinstripe represents
So why do I tell you all of this? Why does it matter? Because it’s important to me to share the story of how I got here and to be open about the process. Because for the first time (maybe ever) I am feeling comfortable with who I am and confident about who I’m working towards being. That comfort and that confidence has curated every detail of Pinstripe and the experience I want to bring to people. It is a representation of all the things I love, the memories I carry, and the lessons I’ve learned. Beehive represented how I thought I needed to be seen; Pinstripe represents the journey to loving and accepting what’s been there all along.
What I love about curating personal style is the lack of a rule book. Throw out any of the traditional styling rules you know right now. We will be wearing white after Labor Day, we will be mixing black and brown, and we will be coordinating not matching (yes, they’re different). Developing a style that is uniquely you allows for uninhibited discovery, creativity, and bravery that will inevitably carry over into other parts of your life. It creates space for more joy in your every day. The only person that has to love your shoes, your earrings, your jacket, your couch, your wallpaper…is you. As a Gemini, I don’t believe that style fits in one box. I believe that style is evolutionary and develops alongside us as we move through life. Most importantly: it should be fun.
Looking forward to making some magic.